I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
