No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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