they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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