She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me