Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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