He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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