i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
