i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
