So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
