Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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