I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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