organizing the empties. That sober.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
