areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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