I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's just like the Real World with babies
either way he was missing a nipple.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
