maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have aggressive nipples.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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