mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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