Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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