dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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