Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
