i wish my penis had a tongue
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
