HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
