fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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