i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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