can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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