It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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