I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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