Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
