It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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