just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
