well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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