dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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