you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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