The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
