I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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