he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize