He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
