I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's shark week go big or go home
We need to get me chipped asap
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
