Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
