I will die if light touches me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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