Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
As shirtless as possible
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
