this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
