I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
