Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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