I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
