This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
