I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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