Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize