ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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