I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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