Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
