1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
