Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Floor bacon is actually really good
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
