he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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