We're facebook friends in real life
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
