hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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