Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize