Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
