420 ftw
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
