Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
